the flavor of time

today started off like most days, dreams of things forgotten held aloft by this notion that i can fly... and in my dreams i do just that, i fly. well i do more than that in most dreams, but that is a conversation for another day all together, lets get back to today.
Then after the morning events of do this, this, this, and this, in this order, i sat down in front of my computer and looked for a person to talk to, i was blessed and graced with a dear friend from California being online and eager to talk with me, let me back up a bit, my cognitive linear recall is as always a little skewed.
There was this program on the History channel about Mary Shelly... and it got me thinking about how that summer in Sweden with Percival Shelly, lord Byron and his mistress and his doctor must have been amazing. the dinner parties at her fathers home in her youth where the great minds would gather once a month for a dinner and share idea's... it got me thinking of how we have lost those things and i became inspired and when i finally began talking with my friend whom i will call Bina, i began to, well this is the series of short thoughts that spilled out of me today...

"what soul can breath with out the breath of its muse, to give it reason and will."

"I felt the winds of madness wash away the sins of perdition in the fury of my desire! so much blood and so little time, the world to please."

"right now, in me, here on this world, i feel the diction of my soul spilling forth into the void of creation and giving birth to eternity."

"how to please the world, a desire of greed fed by sensual bleeding, consumed in the passing of a breath, as i die in your womb, reborn."

"how deeply do we burn when we steal from our own dreams and desires to feed the hopes of lust and brutality."

she was taken by all of them, they are profound thoughts and ideals that make one wonder, where do these things spring forth from. Are we as beings both human and in my case, Vampire/Incubus,all attuned to the same source that such inspiration springs from? Or are there only a few beings in a life time or even in a generation, that are fertile enough spiritually and mentally to give birth to these kinds of ideals.

Or maybe, it is a state of madness that breeds them and like a virus spreads to the other minds by way of forced reality. That is to say that the mind of madness is stronger than the communal mind that seems to govern the status of what society dictates is normal, even sane.

at any rate, i found them to be wonderful statements, up till i realized, i had written them before, that they were never published at that time, and had been lost to time... and here i am again saying them, writing them. it was the program about Shelly that brought them out, and they fit the feel of a poet of the time, the poet i had been... still am?

all this brings me to the full point of my elicit babbling, vampires in general. I've talked with a few here and there, most i discount simply because their condition is nothing like my own, but i realize, with my flawed memory of things, times... i do not have a right to judge those i have not met in person, and wonder if i have a right to judge them at all.

I know what i am, and have known from as early and age as any "human" can be sure of anything at all. so when i hear a "vampire" claim to be over 500 or even 800 years old, i kind of smile, and wonder if they are being literal, or referencing the kind of "immortality" that i suffer from. how many of us are there really, how many are just humans that want to be something that i would never wish on my worst enemies. or am i so completely different from even the vampires of this world that i don't belong in either the human or the vampire worlds?

I have been haunted for as long as i can remember by a dream, that sometimes rapes my daytime freedom from it, for as long as i can remember being alive.

one other person out there knows what that dream is, cause she has been haunted by it as well... the words in it... the way they are laid out, the formation of thought that binds them in will, the force that keeps us here. we don't like raspberries, and recently, science has found that the milky-way galaxy if it had a flavor would be raspberries due to the chemical chain that gives them their flavor is in a large part of the clouds that make it up.

do we even belong here/?

(spelling of the word raspberries may be incorrect. i accept this and point it out, that i just dont care right now.)